directly after surgery.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Other than that, all is well. Darren has done surprisingly well, thankfully. He even played chess with James last night. I think, when the anesthesia wore off, he was a little surprised by the amount of pain he was in, an I will have to make an ice run today, because our ice maker simply cannot keep up, but he is coping well and is able to do more than I expected.
I many ways, it is also harder than I expected. Dishes to be done; I can’t just leave them knowing someone will pick up the slack later (dishes are my nemesis). Dogs need to be fed (that’s me too, although soon assigned to James, at least at night). Trash to be taken out; you’re looking at her. And while I feel this way when Darren is at a conference, it’s more so now, because James and I pare down to minimum then. Dinners, we don’t so much care. Soup from a can, out with friends, pizza in bed. It’s a special time. Now, I have three. At home. For three meals. A friend has graciously offered to bring us dinner tonight. She didn’t have to offer twice 
.
We are also coming to the realization of the shock of the different way we do things.
A commotion in the bathroom. “Did you realize he’s lying on the floor of the show?” “He always does that.” “It’s filling up?!” “He never overflows it?” “But why?” “I don’t know. I don’t care as long as he uses soap and doesn’t shower too long.”
James and I in sweaters when the temperature is over 100 outside because Darren has the a/c cranked much lower than we are accustomed to. He’s used to office living; we only turn it on when the house reaches 85. I shudder to think of our electric bill.
“Have you fed the dogs yet? . . . Have you fed the dogs yet? . . .Have you fed the dogs yet?” “It’s not 8 a.m. yet. They will learn to wait. I am the human. They are the dog.”
All things said, it is hard. It’s hard not to be able to do what you use to do. Hard to have to pick up the slack. And hard to be the kid, having to scale back your fun. But, it will get better. That’s the whole idea.
And, it’s better than expected, at least by me.
Darren’s birthday is Saturday. I’ve have multiple plans all of which have fallen to his surgery. He’s turning 40, so I would have like to have done something more than usual, but in the end, once he gets final word today about the details, we’ll most likely do our usual quiet family observance. Since he got a car, even my thunder of a great gift is gone (well, there’s the car) and I was left kind of befuddled on what to do at all. I finally decided on a family picture, something we have very few of, not professionally done, but just set up the tripod and take a few shots.
Here’s his favorite:
But here’s mine:
In case anyone is wondering, my hair is constantly getting into my face, James always had his “kitties” pestering, and that dog is always underfoot. Put Darren in jeans and a t-shirt, James in shorts and no shirt, my shoes off, and you have a true family portrait.
But, Darren likes the image of a composed family better and it is his present. I’m looking to get a print and have it framed.
In other news, the skirt is done.
I’m quite happy with it. It did used to be my favorite tablecloth. As such, there are a few small stains, but they seem to be well hidden. The pattern is from the Sew Everything Workshop
; it was easy to follow, easy to do. I added a pocket on the side, just the right size for an iTouch (a gift from Darren). I find myself easily annoyed by clothes with no pockets. As I was adding this one, it occurred to me that I could add pockets willy nilly. I didn’t have to sew the whole item to add a pocket.
And, for those who are interested, here is my car organizer. 
For a really nice one, plus the tutorial I used, go here.
And then will probably be all for a while. With Darren’s surgery on Thursday, I’ll probably pop to twitter to say he’s o.k. and do blog visits, but I’m doubting I’ll have a lot of time to come post here for a time. Not that I am the world’s most regular blogger anyway.
Take care everyone.
It’s August, in southern California, and I’m cooking soup. Not a delicious, cold gazpacho, because my tomato plants have really not cooperated with anyone except the lizards, not even a cold strawberry soup, but pots of hot soup. Yes, pots, two of them, on the stove top right now.
We are a soup eating family, really no matter the weather. James will eat pretty much any vegetable if it is put in a soup and every month, he requests some form of soup.It is possible that even at 100, we will be eating soup.
I took a cooking class with a friend a month or so ago and they had a suggestion I just loved. Take your vegetable scraps, keep a freezer bag, and use them for your stocks. Now, I had been saving them for compost, but we have been having a fruit fly infestation problem so I started limiting my compost to garden waste only. And I always save chicken carcasses for stock, but now I could keep my vegetable scraps from going to waste and not have to buy vegetables “just” for stock.
So, today, I have a chicken in the pot, making chicken stock, and we will have chicken pot pie tonight, chicken salad tomorrow (that’s a green salad with chicken in it; personally I’m not a fan of the chicken with mayo in it fan, but James will probably want it that way for lunch), and use the chicken for sandwiches, wraps, etc. throughout the week, and I have beef bones and veggie scraps in another pot because we’re going to have beef barley soup later in the week. Stock not for use this week will get frozen in 2 c. portions.
So, there you have it, random housekeeping post for the month (perhaps the year ). Our love of soup.
For Mom #1 (and the benefit of anyone else who might be interested), it took me a couple of days to get the nerve up to actually use the new sewing machine. I was a little worried I would regret my decision. Silly I guess but there you have it. I love, love, love it! So far, I’ve repaired a car organizer I made with the old machine, which mostly was held together with a little bit of luck I believe). I will take pictures. Really . The thing is, it’s really dirty. James puts his feet all over it. Better it than the car seat.
I plan to make myself a skirt. I’m actually going to use an old tablecloth. That’s my plan. I have to pull it out and see if there are any major stains. None of my tablecloths fit my table anymore (new table a year or so ago) so I should be able to sew a few things without making any purchases, thus, justifying the cost of the machine. Right?
It’s what I’ve been lacking, so busy taking care of everyone else and failing to take care of myself. Cliche of me really. And so, I’ve consciously begun to take some care back.
It’s not time so much, I had things I did, it’s the space inside my head, it’s the time alone, the time for quiet, the time for putting myself first.
I’ve started losing weight, getting fit. I take walks, alone and with a friend. As my body feels stronger and healthier, my mind does as well.
I bought myself a new sewing machine, something I’ve been asking for for three years, but is never a priority for anyone but me (nothing fancy, but a basic, good machine). A serger will be coming in the months ahead.
I’m knitting more actively again, planning projects, casting on and letting my mind let go.
I made bath salts and body scrubs and I lock the bathroom door.
I minimize my on-line interactions (blogs and twitter pretty much). Actually, my real life interactions as well. I’ve cut out the fat, down to the lean. Held on to the best.
I’m starting for the umpteenth time The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and then Don Quixote (the 3rd time). My two favorite uplifting books, not particularly similar.
I’m working on accepting my limitations.
Do you find you have trouble placing limitations? Finding a place for yourself? What are things you do for your own serenity?
The lessons I learn from James are the same I learned when he was 3. Slow learner I guess. Is it his personality, mine, or a combination of the 2?
He, always pushing the boundaries, testing new waters, me having to learn not to instantly say no, to decide, why say no, is this o.k., safe, think before speaking, glad he’s independent, wanting him to be safe.
When he’s 30, will I still feel like a tight rope walker, over Nigara Falls?
So, I’ve mentioned a couple of times that Darren has trouble with his back. Turns out, this story goes back much further than this.
Perhaps 5, 6 years ago, pre James, pre thought of James, so it much be more 6-7 years ago, Darren and I went skiing, something we did back then, but this as turns out, was the last time. Darren fell (long story short) and broke his shoulder. Now, this story definitely starts there. Whether the damage occured at that time and wasn’t caught, or whether, as he ws warned at the time, “there may be future problems from bone spurs in this shoulder,” this is how the story begins.
Fast forward to 3 years ago, the pain begins, Darren goes to the Dr., and then the first of a series of orthopedist. He complains about his shoulder, but the Dr. narrows in on his neck. He sees a total of three different orthopedists (all at the same practice), is put on increasing strengths of pain medicines, given very limited physical therapy (which annoys me to no end), and multiple MRIs and diagnoses (none of which are particularly treatable or hopefully).
Yesterday, after yet another MRI and yet another Dr. he finds he has a torn rotator cuff. How blanking simple is that? As Darren said, “If I was a baseball player, I would have known this in an hour.”
Now, in classic CYA style, it’s “Well, you may still have other issues with your neck. We’ll have to see once we repair this.” Other issues like, being in pain for three years from an unrepaired injury?
Oh yeah, the health insurance system is jsut fine here in the U.S.
Let’s see. This week. We bought a new car. Really, Darren bought a new car; I consulted on the phone. There were moments of stress, but all seems to have worked out in the end. It’s a Chevy . . . Traverse. We bought it using the Cars for Clunkers program and 0% finance. We talked about it (having a rarely used truck that qualifies that has a check engine light on). When the check engine light started flashing two days into looking, it began to seem more urgent. However, when we found out a couple days after deliver that the money for the program had run out (I may have thought that Darren acted quickly), it seems that we acted just in the nick of time (although it seems more money will be approved). Currently, we are a 3 car family, but part of the deal for Darren getting the new car was that he sell his car. Then, both cars will be “family” cars. In other words, whoever is driving further, takes the hybrid.
James has had a difficult week, quite emotional; he is obviously struggling, but also, in many ways, blossoming. He is pulling away from me and relying more on Darren, all part of growing up and natural, but difficult and confusing, perhaps more for him than for me. Where is his happy medium? How can he separate without anger? He is negotiating his way, not always gracefully, and my help is not desired. In many ways, he reminds me of my 2 year old niece, “Go away, come back,” but more sophisticated. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Reading wise, he’s moved onto Geronimo Stilton and become more obsessed. Two books a day and having to be reminded, when we get to a friend’s house, that the book has to be left in the car. Unadulterated joy when (finally) his last birthday present from us arrived today, Chess for Children . I have some understanding for the frustration now my mother felt that I was always reading, but I rarely ask him to stop. Dinner, sometimes. Bedtime. Always. In between. No.
How was your week?
Ami wrote a post on the heat; is it hot out there? Prompting me to think about how we’ve been dealing this year with the heat. It gets a wee bit hot here, ya know. But, this year, we’ve had the lowest electricity bills since moving into this house. In fact, we’ve had the a/c on only a handful of days, a couple of weekend days and when the housekeepers come (I think it’s completely unfair to ask people to clean up my mess in a hot house. I know, I’m a saint). So, here’s some helpful hints I have, mostly completely useless if you’re living with high humidity (tip #1/2: move to the desert).
- Take advantage of any cross breezes. We have tried to figure this out for the past few years. We have a breeze usually, because we live not far from a lake. We have tons of sliding glass doors on the back of the house. However, the front doors are large french doors and screens for them are outrageously expensive. So, we kept the sliding doors open in the evening and overnight, but couldn’t get a cross breeze going. Then, it occurred to Darren we could open the garage door and the entrance to the garage and get the breeze that way. Adding a screen door to that door was much more reasonable.
- Open up the house at night and close it during the day.
- Use fans, lots of fans.
- Cool one room and stay in it. We bought an evaporative fan/cooler. It’s only for one room, it uses the same amount of electricity as a 100 watt lightbulb, much less than central a/c, and keeps us pretty comfortable. It’s on wheels, so can be moved from room to room if we decide to change locations.
- This is only reasonable for people like us, with flat roofed houses. Paint your roof white; it reflects the heat and will also help the roof to last longer.
- Before it gets hot, clean out your filter on your a/c. This should be done regularly. If you haven’t done it in a while, be prepared to be disgusted.
- Stay inside. Don’t go out even to have fun (like in the pool) on hot (over 100) days. Maybe this is just me, because sun=migraines, but I am adamant that over 100 are inside days. I’ll go places (museums, library, free movie), but not outside.
What things are you doing to stay comfortable and save on electricity? How’s your weather at the moment?
We’re starting our new school year come Monday after a long, for us, break of four whole weeks. Do I hear snickering in the back there? I wasn’t quite sure James would be ready, but did finally start asking when school would start again mid-last week. I’m pretty sure I’m not ready, wanting a few more days of sleep in this heat, but I don’t really get to do that anyway.
We were pretty done with things when we had left off at the end of June, things were stagnant, predictable, boring. Luckily, my sister had given James a spy set for his birthday and with it, a spy science book. So, we decided to take a break from the science and history we were doing and study spies. Currently, we’re reading George Washington, Spymaster. James is enthralled with the idea that not for George Washington, he would never have been born. I’m not sure of the accuracy, but I love the sentiment behind it.
So, while language arts and math will remain much the same (well, I’ve order an actual math curriculum that should come in late August for math), for history and science we’re going to take some time, do some units, jump around and look at what interests him, what interests me, what makes sense in the scheme of things.
Here’s a list, some from him (rattled off over a smiley face pancake at IHOP, a yearly tradition now), some from me:
Yosemite, Ansel Adams, photography (me, to correspond with a trip)
Thanksgiving, Wampanoag, Pilgrims (me, also to correspond to a trip)
The rest are him:
The body/the eyes
Rome
Ancient Egypt
Solar system/Light/Black holes/Magnifying things (I grouped together and planned a unit already)
Syrup
Mouse traps
Hawaii
How webs get their dew drops
How seeds are made
How to climb a straight part of a tree
World currency
How to do tricks on a trapeze (I looked into a circus class, but it’s 45 minutes, one way, from the house, at night, two times a week, meaning he wouldn’t see Darren twice a week, and that wasn’t acceptable).
He’s still doing gym class (otherwise known as gymnastics, but we can’t call it that). I plan on taking him once a week during free swim to the Y in September for swimming. He doesn’t want lessons; I want to make sure we both get more exercise; I can’t stand summer crowds. Is that many semi-colons allowable?
For those who are wondering about “our” coyote pup, I spoke to animal control. Apparently it’s not illegal to feed one (in case anyone’s wondering) but ill-advised (duh) and coyote’s can take care of themselves (ya think?). They said I could tell my neighbor that from them. Thanks. Also, if I trapped it, they would relocate it. Seeing as how I live a few blocks both east and south of two different wildlife preserves, this seems silly. At best, it would be back in a day, at worst, it would be hit by a car trying to get back. If it became aggressive in the future, seeing as how it’s being fed and all, then it would be Fish and Game’s problem. I did speak to my neighbor, and she doesn’t seem to be feeding it, or at least is being more circumspect. It does still come around, but it’s not our first or last coyote. As long as it doesn’t expect food from me, I’m o.k. with it.
So, that’s my update. As usual, I have pictures to download. Sometime. I’m better at this during the official school year, because I need them for reporting to the charter. Well, school is officially starting soon. I’ll be better again.
What we’ve been up to
Some fun! Two kinds of volcanoes, the standard baking soda kind and this completely amazing, involving dry ice so it has to be fun, volcano cake. You should really look at the link, because mine (as James pointed out), looks nothing like the picture. He did stop complaining once the exploding/eating began. Robot building. Can I mention how thankful I am for Darren being home when this set came in? I ordered it with some of the funds I get from the charter school, sure that James would love it (he does), but I can get befuddled by larger Lego kits. This was perfect for me not to be involved in
. And swimming, lots of it. Much more than the rest of the summer combined. It’s cooled down enough for it to be swimming weather (although this particular picture is inside). James went, 4 different locations, 4 different times last week.
So, loads of fun.
We also went to a Roots and Shoots group. I’m tentatively positive; James is quite excited. An interesting conversation I had there. One of the mom’s asked if I was a “100% homeschooler”. I must have looked blank, because she continued, “Do you use a charter?” Yes. (For those outside of CA, who may not have the charter system, or have a different type of charter system, it’s one of the 3 options for homeschooling which exist here). A few more questions ensued and she found I was indeed a “100% homeschooler” because James didn’t go to the charter for any classes. Her kids took 2 days of classes a week, which I guess made her a “60% homeschooler” (check my math, 3/5 no?). Anyway, it caught me off guard and struck me as funny (my own “being on the out” with the jargon).
School’s going quite well so far. I’m happy with the choice to switch to unit studies/interest led for science and history this year. It’s revitalized our studies.
We go on Friday to the Dr. to assess Darren’s arm and (he sincerely hopes) get permission to take a shower. He’s greatly improved, although he still has pain (of course). He’s getting up and about most days, for at least part of the day, he’s starting to work some on the computer (he cleaned mine today, which he claims is going to improve it, something about it being disgusting? hair in the keyboard? whatever), so we’re hopefully for a good prognosis.
Alright, so I think I’ve filled you on the major and some of the completely inconsequential events since I last posted. Hopefully, with a working computer, and a continuing full, fun schedule, I pop in more often.
from → funny comments, homeschool, injury