I moved to California when I was 17; this August, I’ll have been here 19 years. I’ve never felt a desire to go home. Like many who moved to Southern California, I feel no great love for the place, but I’ve built a life here, a rich life, and home is, after all, where the heart is.
Never, that is, until yesterday. When my sister gave birth to second daughter and I was here and she was there. The first time around, she lived close, or close enough, a car’s drive away. I could be there, could help, could do.
Yesterday, we talked by phone and she sounded wonderful, much more vibrant, confident, in charge than the first time around. And yet, for me, there was a tinge of the bittersweet. My arms felt empty knowing that it would be November until I got to meet Tess (and I am scared to death of babies, not one of those who loves to hold every any infant they come across).
Happy (belated) birthday, Tess. Welcome to the family.
Allow me to just get out of the way the two things I always say on birthdays: 1) the time has gone so fast and 2) he has changed so much this year. O.k., there, that’s out of the way 
. Here are some required pictures.
At 19 months, when we first adopted him, the first night, note the split pants .
Last week, a couple weeks ago?, after painting the fort. He still has paint in his hair.
It’s so amazing to watch him develop, to see him becoming a young man before my eyes. I would have more to say, but he has a tin can robot to build and I promised to take him both to the library and the bookstore today. It’s good to have a birthday.
James is a big fan of parties. Me, not so much. I try to minimize them in a large way. Holidays, parties, celebrations, James wants them to be more. As soon as he discovers that party planner is a job, he will add that the his list of future occupations (current list: spy, photographer, stunt man).
Last year, he got Disney passes for his birthday and no party. I tried quite diligently for a similar approach this year, to no avail. So this year, James had a mining party, a gem party, a treasure party? Not too sure abut the theme name, you decide:
Here he is sifting through dirt for minerals. Even though is was 105, the kids stuck with this for some time. Although this picture is at the end, they got some pretty good sized crystals and were delighted.
He also got a pinata (one of his requirements), a soccer ball, picked himself. I filled it with the gift bags, a tip from a friend of mine, because all the kids really care about is smashing it to pieces, not what comes out of it. No fuss, no muss.
I set out bubbles, covered the tables with paper and left out crayons and markers (mostly used by adults), and left out chalk. And then I let the kids play. Except for the heat being atrocious, so they had to mostly stay inside with brief moments out, this worked well.
Similarly, decorations were simple, balloons (required by James every year), a birthday banner, some plastic gems and gold coins scattered on the table. Kids took the table decorations home; one girl in particular, after finding out this was allowed, divided them up evenly (so cute! and made clean up even easier).
So, in spite of the heat, the party was a huge success. I’ll be looking to worm my way out of another one next year. Tomorrow is James’ actual birthday, so I suppose there will be another post tomorrow. Three posts in one week? My fingers may fall off.
From this:
To this:
And this:
And finally, this:
I wish I had taken more close-ups so you could see the details, but we finished just in time for James’ party (of course ) and it was the hottest day of the year (105 – also of course) yesterday so I spent most of my time either inside or finding shade, not maximizing my picture taking opportunities. More about the party tomorrow.
Description wise, there’s monkey bars darren made out of pipe, a ladder from Ikea that one can take to the roof (although that was off limits for the party), a chalkboard painted floor (I told you you wouldn’t want me to lay tile for you!), a rock wall with rope (the rope actually seems to make it harder for James? Go figure.), and a shield on the door with a J and a kitty painted on it. The rock wall can be covered with a sheet for projected movies (we don’t actually own a projector, but might be able to borrow one).
Still planned are a flag pole with a banner on top (Darren’s idea) and a fireman’s pole (made from a pole take from the trampoline -James’ idea). But what fort is not a continual work in progress?
In honor of Father’s Day (hope all those good father’s out there enjoyed), we slaved away on James’ new fort and play equipment. Poor Darren deserved much (much) better, but James’ birthday party is next weekend, and time is drawing to an end. He did get somewhat spoiled, if you consider a good breakfast, some recognition, a good dinner, and grindstone in between ”spoiled.”
Hopefully, the unveiling will come soon. I have some mid-progress pictures on my camera. James has been pitching in and picking up some skills in the process. The fort is so much better and his learning curve has been so much greater than if they had bought a kit. In fact, this weekend, he knocked out a four rungs from his old ladder, found some crap plywood, and put together a table. Not the sturdiest or most beautiful table, but it’s his, for his fort, and he’s quite proud, as am I. With his growing skills, I have discovered that I will never, ever be paid to lay tile for anyone. Or even be asked to help a friend if they see the job I’ve done in James’ “castle.” James thinks it’s marvelous.
Stay tuned for pictures as the castle is completed. If I survive that long.
in bulleted form:
1. James (finally) learned to tie his own shoelaces yesterday. It was a moment of triumph that I was going to immortalize in picture, except that we were at Disneyland, waiting for the parade. I had the camera and had left the card at home, sort of like the days of running out of film.
It was actually symblic of how James learns many things. He starts and stops, starts and stops, I think he’s going to get it and he loses interest. Then one day, he just masters it. No pushing will ever make him learn faster, I could have had him practice everyday for a year and still, yesterday would have been the day. Perhaps longer, because he would have hated to tie his shoes by now.
2. We went to Disneyland yesterday; our passes our expiring and we’re going to let them. Many people love the new free birthday and payment plans for locals. We hate them because of the crowds (hurrah for Disney, they are making even more money). Yesterday, with schools getting out early because they have no money, the crowds were atrocious. However, it was worth it for James to see the fireworks; he is spellbound every time.
3. Speaking of schools getting out early, have you seen this story http://tiny.cc/0S7fo . Yes, because some bureaucrat is bad at math, kids not far from me will be going to school until July 31st this year. Now, I have James going to school year round, but I don’t tell him in May, surprise! 34 extra days of school! Yeah, those kids are happy. At least they didn’t add to the crowds last night.
4. I won! http://blueyonderranch.com/imagine/the-book-so-bright-you-gotta-wear-shades/ How cool is that!
5. Speaking of Blue Yonder and cool, on our way to Disneyland, we saw an Alaska license plate. We started off trying to get 48 states, because let’s face it, we never thought we would get Alaska and Hawaii. But, now we have 46 states, D.C., 2 Canadian province, 1 Mexican state?, province?, region?, someone help me out there, and 1 foreign country we are still attempting to identify. We need a new map. And, if you see us driving, you may want to give us a wide berth, we will drive dangerously to attempt to spot a new plate (particularly NM, WY, KS, or AL).
Today James needed to pick a new book; it’s always a struggle. In fact, I made a book jar to cut down the agony. I used to bring him stacks of books, all of which he would discard as not being right, unless I had managed to find him a series he was enjoying. I would then narrow it down to a few and say, “You must pick from these.” Oh, how he would struggle.
His problem lies not in that he doesn’t love books, but in that he loves them too much. Nothing could possible engage him, live up to, be as good as those he had read in the past. Age six and he has read the best that the literary world has to offer. How is he ever supposed to pick from the slim picking left over that I have offered him?
Enter the book jar. Slips of paper, in a mason jar, each with a book title, rolled like a snail. He picks one, he reads it. If, after two days, he doesn’t like it, he moves on (always the “rule” by the way, but still picking a book was life and death).
Here is the book jar dance:
He picks, he reads.
“I don’t like it.”
“That’s what you said about the last one and you love it.”
“Yes, but I remember looking over this one before. I’m sure I won’t like it.”
“Well, if you won’t like it, you can stop reading it after two days.”
“I know I love the book I’m reading now. But I won’t like this one. I won’t finish it.”
“O.k.”
For the record, in the past year, 40 “school” books, he has not finished 2. This conversation? 42 times.
We went swimming and I got a souvenir. We played a game that I really like, math war, number partners, that’s the game. My souvenir was a new spyglass thing.
I got my secret service badge at President Eisenhower’s house. We did some activities. We found some clues. I got to look through some real binoculars, not just my old boo boo binoculars. That secret service agent badge was metal metal metal metal.
We did a cycloroma. A cyclorama is a picture that glows. It glows like it’s real. It was of Gettysburg. It made sound, it was beaming with light and the story told of the civil war about unions and confederates. Some even fought brother to brother. And the day they fought in this picture was July 3rd.
.
Post from James in Gettysburg:
We went on an airplane because we wanted to go to Gettysburg. We went to the cemetery. I saw statues, big stone statues. We saw real guns, and gold, and silver. I learned that there was nine steps to load a bullet. I also learned that injuring trees in the cemetery is against the law.
if you’re lazy. That’s what it boils down to.
I had my neurologist appointment today; it’s a yearly gig. Generally, it goes down something like this:
“How are your medicines?” (for migraines)
“Swell.”
“Great. Do these odd tests (somewhat like a drunk driving test) so I can be sure you don’t have a brain tumor. You don’t.”
“Swell.”
“See you next year.”
“Swell.”
Only this year, it was more like this:
“Well, last month, the pharmacy changed me to a generic, and my migraines have been really bad since.”
“How bad?”
“Mmm, 4 a week.”
“Yeah, that’s bad.”
“So, I was thinking that you could inform the insurance company that the generic wasn’t working for me and get me back to the original drug.”
“That’s a lot of paperwork.”
“And?”
“And they’ll probably say no.”
“Well, my G.P. has done it before.”
“That’s a lot of paperwork. Let’s just increase your dosage and see how that works. How’s the rx for when you get a migraine.”
“Well, it’s great when I only use it once a month, but 4x a week and I can’t function. I need to function.”
“We’ll switch that too.”
Seriously? It’s too much paperwork for him to bother with so I am not immobilized by migraines? Really? When was the last time he had a migraine you think? When was the last time he filled out paperwork you think? I know, I never went to medical school but how many of us really believe that taking more of a medicine that isn’t working is going to work? A showing of hands for how many of us think I’ll be at my GP’s office asking her to do the paperwork because apparently her staff aren’t lazy asses?
How’s this work in Canada anyway?
